After I finished the lion, I decided in a fit of madness , that I wanted to paint a portrait next. I chose a Mongolian girl in a pensive mood. I knew it would be hard, but completely under estimated the degree of difficulty. Proportions, Skin Colours, Highlights and shadows, hair, skin, and so it goes on.
But I tried.
And I kept redoing and redoing – especially the eyes, nose and ear. And it got worse, and muddier. Eventually I gave up on the poor thing. She is now called the “Grumpy Girl”, even though I don’t think she is.
This is the first portrait I attempted (overly ambitious as portraits are really, really hard.) I called her Grumpy Girl (she is actually from Mongolia). Eventually, I gave up on due to frustration at my inability to get her eyes, nose and ear right.
However, I did attempt her again (that is me – perfectionist who refuses to give up.)
At the moment, the world is bewildering, frightening, illogical, frustrating, formidable, dire, demoralizing and daunting. I am filled with alarm, fear, distress, and despair. I think about the past: the errors and the successes. I think about how it appears that our rulers, governments and the people have forgotten the reality of the past.
Recently I have been given a number of books on the build-up to World War II. The 1930’s. It is fascinating to see all the “near misses” by which the war could have been avoided – if only people had listened and observed the reality rather than the sham actions which were performed to misdirect the world from the real process of creating an absolute dictatorship aimed at annihilation of certain groups of people. We look back, and it is assumed that the West were the victors, the “goodies”. But before the war the Western politicians did not take notice of the events in Berlin and elsewhere. They assumed that if they could talk to Hitler, war was very unlikely – after all, he was (apparently) charming, quiet and intelligent.
He smiles…and cuddles …and she is blonde….just like all the Trump womenHitler smiling and chatting to fans (circa 1934)
Germany was in the midst of advertising their nation as being a wonderful place for a holiday. And so visitors flocked to Germany.
1935 Advert for Holidays in the Rhine
T
Holiday Advert 1930: Looks grand!
They loved the scenery, the young people who were all strong, fit and blonde. Who stayed in youth hostels in gaggles (this was the Hitler Youth – already brainwashed).
Advert 1934 – Join the Hitler Youth
Very young members of Hitlers Youth (mid-1930’s)
circa 1935: Eleven year old boys in the Hitler Youth organization learning how to fire a rifle. (Photo by Keystone/Getty Images)
The SS had been formed and were in the background in case of any dissent. Some holiday goers (and diplomats) were even taken to visit the “highly successful labour camps” – they came away impressed at how well the “guests” were looked after – it turns out that the inmates they saw – were prison guards dressed up nicely and smiling. There was little enquiry as to why there were camps at all.
Labour camp opened in 1933
Labour camp opened in 1933
In addition, I got a fright reading about all the English and Americans supports of fascism, racism and even nazi-ism.
And, in my humble opinion, it seems that quite a large chunk of humanity has yet again bought into the rhetoric of fascism and populism: oblivious to reality and utterly devoid of empathy, respect and integrity.
I am scared. I am getting “scarder”. And I am petrified of the future my children are having foisted upon them, It seems unfair (but a huge compliment) that it is the youth that will have to redress the wrongs of this generation. But they are intelligent, tech-savvy, globally aware and compassionate. I believe that they can achieve great changes for the better. I don’t believe the older generation can (especially if they keep harking back to “we won the war” – actually “we” didn’t; dare I say that was the cold war’s arch enemies – the Russians, that actually turned the tide.)
What is happening is that we are Living through History. As unpleasant as it is. The following quote (Daily Stoic) helps me:
“It’s strange to think that we can take comfort from this, but we can. Marcus Aurelius wanted us “to bear in mind constantly that all of this has happened before. And will happen again—the same plot from beginning to end, the identical staging.” Everyone who’s ever lived, including you, lived through history. They experienced the sausage being made—and that’s never pretty.
Realize that that’s what is going on right now. That’s what the Trump presidency is. That’s what COVID-19 is. That’s what climate change and Black Lives Matter protests and so many other things are. These are historical events and you’re living through them. It’s up to you whether you live through them passively, or actively. You have the chance to influence that history. Some of us in a big way, others in a smaller way. But we all have the opportunity to face them with proper Stoicism—which means not panicking, not betraying your principles, that means acting with courage, moderation, justice and wisdom.“
Yesterday I (re) watched one of my all time favourite films – What’s eating Gilbert Grape?. It is an old film (I think around 1993, and I was so impressed by the acting that I wrote down the names of the actors and actress so that I wouldn’t forget them.
The names were Leonardo Di Caprio (maybe 15 at the time of the film) , Johnny Depp (25 maybe?) and Juliette Lewis (19/20?).
If you have never seen it I recommend it: it is an old fashioned tale of life in a small town in a family with an intellectually challenged boy, his brother who is “man of the house”, an obese mother and a “new age” girl travelling with her grandmother. It is very hard to explain – it is not action / adventure / romance / comedy – it contains elements of all of these (as does our lives). My dad loved it.
Anyway, the reason for mentioning this is because of Juliette Lewis – it reminded me of a quote of hers that sums up my constant battle requiring never-ending, exhausting stamina and steely determination; every day and night.
And I have managed so far, against all odds – even when I was thought to be “surely” dead, I came back. The power of unconditional love (in this case for my girls) must be the strongest force that has, does and will survive. It transcends beyond the conscious mind and is deeply rooted in the subconscious. It is this loving that I believe spurred me on to refuse death to invade me; and to survive; and to return to be there – loving again.
My proposal here is to have a space to ponder upon philosophical concepts and strive toward finding meaningful and successful thought patterns and actions that can improve the quality and gentleness of our lives. Not quick fix. Not affiliated to any religion. Something which can help us to cope with the worst of situations. I start with ideals from the stoics, who seem to me to have a good handle on all of the above.
There is also a page for “words”. I love playing Balderdash and I feel that my vocabulary gets boring. It is fun to explore new “jabberwocky”. Any weird and wonderful words welcome! I know that everywhere is inundated with quotes; but there are some that are timeless. Every now and again they are inspirational and motivating.
I started going to an oil painting class (which is not running currently due to Corona Virus). While I really enjoy it, it is very complex. All sorts of elements to master and many mistakes to be made in order to progress (methinks). Just as I get the hang of one element, along comes another to completely stymie me. Reading books, websites and watching videos do help; but also can be annoying as they make it look So easy. They mix yellow and blue to get green, I mix yellow and blue to get …. well…sludge.
Anyway, here is my first main effort.
J …… please can we see some of yours? And anyone else?
This is from a photo I took as we were following a lion and two lionesses on the hunt. Unfortunately we lost them, but I love the inside of a lion’s mouth (from far away).
Caryll Contemplates and Creates 