Yesterday I (re) watched one of my all time favourite films – What’s eating Gilbert Grape?. It is an old film (I think around 1993, and I was so impressed by the acting that I wrote down the names of the actors and actress so that I wouldn’t forget them.

The names were Leonardo Di Caprio (maybe 15 at the time of the film) , Johnny Depp (25 maybe?) and Juliette Lewis (19/20?).

If you have never seen it I recommend it: it is an old fashioned tale of life in a small town in a family with an intellectually challenged boy, his brother who is “man of the house”, an obese mother and a “new age” girl travelling with her grandmother. It is very hard to explain – it is not action / adventure / romance / comedy – it contains elements of all of these (as does our lives). My dad loved it.

Anyway, the reason for mentioning this is because of Juliette Lewis – it reminded me of a quote of hers that sums up my constant battle requiring never-ending, exhausting stamina and steely determination; every day and night.

And I have managed so far, against all odds – even when I was thought to be “surely” dead, I came back. The power of unconditional love (in this case for my girls) must be the strongest force that has, does and will survive. It transcends beyond the conscious mind and is deeply rooted in the subconscious. It is this loving that I believe spurred me on to refuse death to invade me; and to survive; and to return to be there – loving again.

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