Wellbeing

I feel very strongly about our mental health and the everlasting stigma about it, and all the assumptions that are made on our behalf – mostly with very little / no knowledge of the facts and hardly ever any real interaction whereby there is a concerted effort to understand “how it feels”!! Not just “the text book says”….or “the doctor says” or … “I also get depressed but I don’t…” or “I’ve never been depressed, so….”

And I am very much to account for this lack of transparency as well. I have kept my issues hidden, not admitted in any kind of form to having a mental ailment, played it down, pretended I was fine, etc. Most other people with mental issues probably recognise this behaviour all too well.

I am STILL (at the age of 53) pretending to be “normal” (whatever that is). I don’t talk about it, never mind write about it. And have this discussion honestly and openly. Even when I am so embarrassed by past behaviours. I have been spurred on by my brave, courageous daughters who have managed to “take back power”. Not an easy task.

I have managed to move on quite a lot, in spite of the lack of talking and support. But it would have been quicker and more meaningful if I had been able, not just to talk about it, but to connect with others who had the same type of experience. (I have recently decided that support groups are amazing entities. I wish there were some close by)

So, I am so pleased that my daughters are strong enough to deal with things now, and that they can then have a full and emotionally healthy life.

I am not sure if many know this, but I have Bipolar Disorder – only diagnosed 8 years ago, but had it from the age of about 16. I have experienced both out of this world dangerous manias and the deepest depths of the black holes (which we now have a photo of, ha ha), and self-harmed and had a number of suicide attempts. I have been hospitalised a couple of times and spent time in clinics. Recently I have had to apply to the benefits system here in the UK (as I am unable to work since my death experience in China), and there was an extensive form to be filled in for both physical and mental abilities. There is lots of talk of rejections and referrals to medical teams for assessment, but I simply was told that I had been deemed as “not fit for work”. So I need to figure this one out. Am I disabled? I don’t know. After working my whole life (lecturer) and bringing up two children,; I am now classed as unfit for work. Hmm….. this is going to take me time to digest.

(Update: just received another letter, I am still “disabled” and “unfit for work”)

I hope that I am still fit to be a mother….. (what a ghastly thought).

Philosophy (Stoics and Others)

I fell into the ideas of the Stoics by accident (I heard it on TV and realized that I did not really know what it meant; so I used that greatest of encyclopedias – the Internet; to find out.) But I have been seduced by its simplicity and ability to be directly signposted to all the misfortunes that I have had to endure. It certainly has helped me most recently in coming to terms with not just all my financial and emotional losses, but especially in terms of my “death” experience. I would like to share some of their philosophical ideas and welcome robust debate around their topics.

Stoicism is Ideal for the Real World
The Stoics were writing honestly, often self-critically, about how they could become better people, be happier, and deal with the problems they faced.

They saw that virtue (such as wisdom) is happiness and judgment should be based on behavior, rather than words. That we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses.

Ultimately, that’s what Stoicism is about. It’s not some systematic discussion of why or how the world exists. It is a series of reminders, tips and aids for living a good life.

I like that it is all about us improving ourselves, having no judgement on other people or their belief systems; and realising that we can only control ourselves.

Since the global epidemic has crept upon us, not just as the unexpected, unbiased and silent killer of homo sapiens; but also as the destroyer of life as a secondary effect (loss of income, of possessions, of purpose, of self-confidence, loss of life due to other disease relegated to the back seats of the hospital departments, loss of life due to starvation, or suicide, or fear). We see capitalism failing the people of lands, populist leaders inexplicably retaining political support whislt implementing yet greater controls over freedom and people’s rights.

Where will this all lead? who knows? how many really care? Do we go back to “normality” as it was: greedy, selfish, destroying? or do we try to use this amazing opportunity to create a new “normal”; we see smog and pollution dissipating, jellyfish in Venice, goats, foxes and even mountain lions in towns; we see penguins in Cape Town….it shows us how very possible it is for our natural world to regenerate, and quickly.

Somehow I doubt that the majority of the world/s (leaders?) will care about this and will just wish to find new ways of becoming rich again (or on top).

This is where the Stoics come from, this is the type of situation that they prepared themselves for, that led to their success whilst all else was falling down around their ears. So in a strange way, I feel as though I am emotionally better off than most and able to manage the current situation as just part of my life – not a life changing or scary unforeseen event.

I have put a link to the Daily Stoic website as they have amazing information, including daily emails and courses, which are relevant, include references and suggested activities. I do not wish to regurgitate what they disseminate (it is their material), rather I will “stream of consciousness” my thoughts.

Dailystoic.com

Handicrafts

Wow, have I been on a substantial learning curve!

But I enjoy it a great deal. Actually, my biggest problem is that I get sidetracked by new and different crafts and want to try them all, and (being a perfectionist) want it all to turn out to be fabulous! Here is what I am into right now:

Origami – I have always enjoyed doing origami. Now that I am back into it, there are amazing creations out there, some very mathematical (and complex).

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Mothers Day Flower Bouquet – Origami Flowers, Butterflies and Dragonflies
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Close up of Kusudama Flowers
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Origami Hair Clip

Kumihimo – this is the art of Japanese braiding, whereby using a disk cut with notches and cord lovely braids can be produced. A step up is to include beads to add glamour and flare. Once you have ironed out the beginners bugs it is very relaxing – I do it on trains, waiting for something, watching TV…

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Kumihimo Necklace and Bracelet – simple (Terrible Photo)

Add block

Iris Folding – this is lovely way to make cards, and I can use scraps of my origami to make it.

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Iris Folding Heart

Lets just say that all this and my art keeps me somewhat busy!

Now I would love to see what other handiwork people are enjoying.